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[Mar. 29th, 2008|10:40 am] |
Если свет выключается со звуком "эээ!", значит, в туалете кто-то есть.
Предвыборные дебаты на ТВ. Принимают звонок телезрителя:
- Товарищ Зюганов, сам я политикой не интересуюсь, но моя жена ездит в Москву на все ваши митинги. В последнее время их было штук десять - а что изменилось? Поэтому я теряю к вам доверие.
- Лучше подумайте о доверии к жене: в последнее время у нас было всего 3 митинга!
Иванов в детстве мечтал стать продавцом.
В наши дни мечта академика Иванова исполнилась.
Россия - страна, где исполняются мечты!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Mar. 29th, 2008|10:49 am] |
I was so moved by Barack Obama's speech that I cried upon hearing it. I cry during President Bush's speeches, too, but that's because I'm an English teacher.
Miles Walker
I was worried that the mechanic might try to rip me off, so you can imagine my relief when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid.
Sunnyland Slim
I don't mind that my employer has a policy of random urine-testing, but I don't think it's fair when my urine is required to complete a maze or name the state capitals.
David Kass
The Top Signs Your Website Is Not Very 2.0
- "This site best viewed with Mosaic Browser."( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Mar. 29th, 2008|11:10 am] |
Why is there only ONE monopolies commission?
Things-To-Ponder
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
Robert Orben
Three women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"
Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"
Everyone is startled and throws themselves on the ground while she escapes.
The guard brings the redhead forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She say no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"
Suddenly the redhead yells, "TORNADO!!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around for cover while she escapes.
By now the blonde has it all figured out. The guard brings her forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim!"
And the blonde yells, "FIRE!!!" |
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