| |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|07:51 am] |
Департамент экономической безопасности (ДЭБ) МВД РФ установил, что сколько взяток дают, столько и берут.
Машина, с растерявшейся женщиной за рулем, несется в стену. Остается пара метров, вдруг сидящий рядом с ней мужчина дергает ручник и автомобиль замирает в сантиметрах от преграды. Сидящие в салоне начинают его благодарить. Мужик:
- Да ладно, я ж летчик-истребитель, просто у меня в кабине в этом месте находится рычаг катапультирования!...
Хроника происшествий:
Доверчивый юноша открыл дверь двум незнакомым молодым женщинам весьма сомнительного вида, да к тому же пьяным. И не пожалел!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|09:24 am] |
The Top Signs Your Hairdresser Is an Alien
- Recommend highlighting to "bring out the green" in your complexion.
- "Greetings, fellow biped. In what manner do you request that I mutilate the cellular strands excreted from your cranium?"
- A hairbrush, a comb, a pair of scissors, a teaser and a blow dryer. How else is she using all that stuff at once without 8 tentacles?
- That wasn't styling gel she used, but rather the ectoplasm from a Centaurian slime worm.
- She pushes the hair-needles straight through your skull to fiddle around and see how your brain works.
- Asks if you'd mind if she kept the clippings to feed the poor.
- "Would you like the usual today? Shampoo, rinse, and anal probe?"
The Top Other Signs of Illness We Shouldn’t Miss
- Uncontrollable urge to take karate lessons: Restless Leg Syndrome
- Aversion to daytime TV talk shows, craving for books and non-entertainment magazines: Bright's Disease
- Sudden allergy to tigers and sharks: Multi-Stroke Deficit
- Suddenly understanding everything George W. Bush says:c Foot-in-Mouth Disease
- Overwhelming craving to write down and footnote everything you say or do: Appendix-itis
- Voting for Ron Paul or Mike Gravel: Electile Dysfunction
No TopFive.com |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|10:56 am] |
|
Modernā sabiedrība.. ( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|
| |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|10:59 am] |
Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.
Laurence J. Peter
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
WC Fields
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
Robert Benchley
( ... tālāk ... ) |
|
|