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[Jul. 20th, 2007|11:30 am] |
Доктор:
- Больная, тужтесь. Тужтесь! Сильнее тужтесь!
Больная:
- Доктор, а Вы уверены, что аппендицит так выходит?
Муж - жене:
- Надеюсь, что подарок, который я тебе сделаю, будет прекрасно смотреться у тебя на пальце.
- Спасибо, милый. Только не покупай слишком дорогой.
- Да ты что! Где ты видела дорогой наперсток?!
( ... tālāk ... ) |
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[Jul. 20th, 2007|11:37 am] |
The Top Guesses at the Last Line of "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"
(Part II)
- "Not tonight, Ginny -- I'm watching the Quidditch match."
- "And so, Harry's spirit passed forth from the realm of hardcover releases, and into a series of ghost-written paperbacks unto eternity."
- "Holding Voldemort's severed head high in the air, Dudley sneered at Harry's sniveling form in the corner, and exclaimed, 'No more fat jokes, cousin.'"
- "I'd like you to meet my new associate, Nearly Headless Hermione."
- "Hermione, on the other hand, decided to give up the whole wizard shtick and become a dancer at a gentleman's club called The Caldron in Hogsmeade."
- "Okay, Ron, now it's time for a little Paycheckium Cashicus!!"
- "It was the same as the last six closing remarks that I'd heard from Dumbledore: 'If you tell your parents, I swear to God, I'll kill you in your sleep,'"
- "Hermione pressed her heaving bosom against Harry and the two stepped over Ron's smoking remains, mounted his broom and flew off with hopes of a new life in a land where screaming orgasms wouldn't incinerate everything in a 50-foot radius."
- "Harry trudged down the lane, devastated at the news that he was the only one who'd have to repeat 7th year."
- "Hey, this Bott's Bean tastes like cyani--"
- "And then Harry woke up from his dream to find himself still on the scaffold, with the angry citizens of Salem Village clamoring for his death."
No TopFive.com |
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