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Apr. 30th, 2010|07:58 am |
Be careful what you wish for. I told this cute girl at the bar that maybe I could help her fulfill one of her fantasies and she agreed -- but apparently she fantasizes about kicking a guy in the crotch.
I often wonder if the voices in my head ever get frustrated because I'm just too damn lazy to climb that clock tower.
In my defense, it's only one little letter. Nevertheless, the judge wasn't buying my argument that slaughter is the best medicine.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When the Toyota dealer gives you a lemon, you should take the extra step of delivering the lemonade right through his display window.
I cried because I had no hat -- until I met a man who had no head. Not much of a talker, that guy.
The Top Songs on the Colonoscopy Playlist
- Ain't No Sunshine (Bill Withers)
- I'm Looking Through You (The Beatles)
- Shotgun Down the Avalanche (Shawn Colvin)
- Down in a Hole (Alice in Chains)
- How Deep Is Your Love (The Bee Gees)
- Lookin' Out My Back Door (Credence Clearwater Revival)
- So Into You (Atlanta Rhythm Section)
- Highway to Hell (AC/DC)
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