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[Apr. 6th, 2010|08:12 am] |
I've decided to quit drinking for 30 days -- but I think I may need 60 days to complete the task.
What you name a product often plays the most important role in determining its success. I learned this the hard way; while those "Girls Gone Wild" DVDs sell like crazy, my own "Girls Presenting Symptoms of Severe Mental Psychosis" DVDs never sold worth a damn.
My wife thought she could really get me good on April Fool's Day with her "Whoopee cushion on the car seat" gag. But I think I trumped her with the ol' "backing the sedan through the garage door" routine.
I read that every year, around five million cars and trucks roll off the General Motors assembly line. No wonder they're having so much money trouble. If GM had any brains, they'd build their assembly lines on level ground so they wouldn't keep doing that.
The Top Questions That SHOULD Have Been on the U.S. Census Survey
* Religion:
[ ] Christian
[ ] Jewish
[ ] Secretly Muslim
* Have you ever been too stupid to get out of jury duty? ____
* Political Affiliation:
[ ] Godless Socialist
[ ] Fascist Ideologue
[ ] Third Party Vote-Waster
* Are any males in your household gay? ____
Are they sure? Maybe they just haven't met the right girl.
* How many of states have you visited?
[ ] 1-10
[ ] 11-25
[ ] 26-50
[ ] All 57
* Choose one:
[ ] I support the Obama administration
[ ] I'd like my taxes doubled, my guns taken away, and my Fox News cable signal scrambled.
* Should marijuana be legalized?
[ ] No way
[ ] WAY, dude!
* Do you feel that bailing out big businesses with billions of taxpayer dollars while the taxpayers themselves struggle to make ends meet was a poor choice?
[ ] Yes
[ ] I'm an idiot
* If you checked "Negro" for race and were born after 1960, WTF?
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