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[Mar. 26th, 2010|08:54 am] |
Every time I click on messages from this one guy, they keep showing up again and again in my inbox! And who the heck is Mark Unread anyway?
I'm no physicist, but I'll bet that in the fourth dimension, "thinking outside the tesseract" is physically impossible.
Hitler must have been a really persuasive speaker. You'd pretty much have to be to convince your new bride that a suicide pact counts as a honeymoon.
The Top Dumb Weapons of the Past, Present and Future
- The atomic nerf bomb
- French knights
- Jell-O sword
- Panty shields
- The really, really, short sword
- Restroyers
- Nucular Weapons
- Fartillary
The Top Hidden Provisions of the Health Care Bill
- New five-second rule in effect for instruments dropped on the floor during surgery.
- Hospital gowns will now include an open-in-front "pubic option."
- African-Americans age 49 and older who are employed in the Executive Branch of government and who work in the White House's Oval Office will be covered 100% on all purchases of Marlboro medicinal tobacco.
- Depending on the circumstances, "buns of steel" may be a preexisting condition.
- Hidden clause makes Kenyan-born Americans eligible to be president.
- Paperwork-reducing reforms allow hospitals to insert bills directly into your rectum.
- Doctors discover that "universal health care" means exactly that when the ambassador from Rigel 7 requests his squiznard be omnipulated.
- Now covered at 50 percent: Disco Fever, Rockin' Pneumonia, Boogie-Woogie Flu.
- Treatments for dyslexia to be covered 001% with no dudectible.
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