whenever I think a thought similar to "that person took my peace. this person made me jaded." it is not the other who took something away from me. it is me who took away from me; barred off a part of myself and made that other person responsible for it. because it is easier to hold others responsible than to be accountable for my thoughts and actions. the same with illumination or catharsis. if I find great enlightenment while in a church or 'speaking to god', I will credit this church or that god with this experience of absolution, thus actually giving it away instead of integrating it in my self. same if I was to bear a child and this gave me absolution and ultimate meaning of life, in great bliss I would love and cherish this child and from most perspectives this would seem pure, but from my inner truth I will have given the responsibility of my bliss to this child as a burden and a curse. I am my own worst pains and I am my own greatness.