zdv's Journal

3:18pm: God damn it! Pie ******* visi čīgātāji, kuri sadomājas nezin ko no sevis! No sākuma uztaisi vienu normālu mūzikas gabalu un tad sāc mācīt citus kā montēt, gaismot, skaņot un režisēt . . . mūsu mūzikas video ir izvērties par mazu Balkānu kariņu starp mūziķiem un filmēšanas grupu . . . es jau pateicu savu screw you guys I’m leavin’ ar skaļu durvju aizciršanu un dungojot “went home and bought myself a gun” (šitādus vārdus pacifistei, protams, nevajadzētu dungot) :P

9:39pm: The vomit of yours, Octavio, is an absent-mindedness of mine . . .
—when was life ever truly ours? when are we ever what we are? we are ill-reputed, nothing more than vertigo and emptiness, a frown in the mirror, horror and vomit, life is never truly ours, it always belongs to the others, life is no one's, we all are life— bread of the sun for the others, the others that we all are— when I am I am another, my acts are more mine when they are the acts of others, in order to be I must be another, leave myself, search for myself in the others, the others that don’t exist if I don't exist, the others that give me total existence, I am not, there is no I, we are always us, life is other, always there, further off, beyond you and beyond me, always on the horizon, life which unlives us and makes us strangers, that invents our face and wears it away, hunger for being, oh death, our bread