"Our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become."

What kind of person I am? What kind of person I was? And what I will do with myself in the future? The range of emotions goes from crying because of nothing to hate, than back to sad part, then to self destruction, than to blaming myself for all this. And finally back to the first moment when this all showed up: "Who I was?" And this question is one of the reasons why all this things from my past personality are awake again.

I have changed in a way, I can feel it. Or maybe not. I have simply fooled myself and I'm still old me.
I wish I could be better, but it takes a lot of time to learn that.

Positive thinking have been lost for quite a while. And it seems that it's not coming back so soon.

The coldness is rising inside of me and it is scary to freeze again. And this time part of me don't what to be as cold hearted as I was before. Though I admit that I had fooled myself quite well in that period of my life.


P.S.
Relatively long time ago a friend stumbled this page and send me the address. I still reread it some times. Times like this.

http://penn.betatesters.com/wisdom01.htm