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[Feb. 8th, 2016|12:06 am]

tapetes_puksts
kad stāsta laikā visu laiku vārda enter vietā dzirdi error un līdz ar to pilnīgi citādi esi uztvērusi visu informāciju, saproti, ka īstenībā prātā valda milzīgs error un jāiet gulēt
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neguli, saulīte [Feb. 7th, 2016|09:35 pm]

saccharomyces
galīgi neesmu PMS meitene, bet vienu lietu gan esmu pamanījusi šo gadu laikā - pāris dienas pirms MR uz kādu dienu vai vairākām palieku nenormāli miegaina. tā, ka varu sākt vienkārši slēgties ārā, pat darot kaut kādas lietas, un pat it kā samērā izgulējusies (jāatzīst gan, ka manas prasības pret ķermeņa pamatvajadzību apmierināšanu, piemēram, cik daudz/bieži ēst vai gulēt, mēdz būt samērā zemas, bet nedomāju, ka šajā situācijā tam ir nozīme). man ilgi pagāja, kamēr sapratu, kāds ir šī pārguruma pattern, bet kopš kaut kādā brīdī, kad v.dziedzera problēmu dēļ dzīvoju ar visādiem 50+dienu cikliem un sāku daudzus sīkumus atzīmēt diezgan jaukajā ovuview app, šitas izkristalizējās pilnīgi skaidri.

šodien, piemēram, gulēju trīs reizes - pa nakti, pēc tam aizmigu, lasot grāmatu, - tā, ka vienkārši acis sāk migloties un rokas ļimt pusteikumā - un visbeidzot gandrīz nolūzu, taisot sev tēju, tāpēc ielīdu gultā uz vēl vienām 40 min. neesmu par šo joku sajūsmā.

kādi ieteikumi, viedās cibas dāmas?
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[Feb. 7th, 2016|11:20 am]

juriic
"i that there`s an awful lot of mung, but i think i`ve a lot of net and tunged in a little wheat duhvayden"
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Imigranta dzīve 11: Naktsmaiņas [Feb. 7th, 2016|08:18 am]

217
[Tags|]

Vakar pēc darba izgājām ārā pabā 7:30 no rīta uz 2ām pintēm ar K&A, kamēr visi normāli cilvēki ielās devās uz darbu. Vēl viena nakts un pirmā darba nedēļa būs izturēta. Palikt visu nakti augšā ir diezgan viegli. Kad izdodas aizmigt, tad var pa dienu sust kā zilonis, bet joprojām bezgala dīvains viss tas aizmigšanas process - šobrīd, piemēram, astoņi, kad aiz loga putni un saule sāk uzrasties, bet jāiet gulēt. Un uz mirkli ķermenim ieslēdzas watafaks, jo šķiet, ka jāceļas tak un jādzīvo, ārā gaišs taču.

Vēl man ir paranoja, ka man ir kkādi zili loki zem acīm parādījušies, bet tas viss droši vien manā galvā.
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[Feb. 7th, 2016|01:18 am]

tapetes_puksts
viss riebjas vai viss ir brīnišķīgi. tam nekam nav nekādas nozīmes
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[Feb. 5th, 2016|11:48 pm]

saccharomyces
starp citu, šodien pirmo reizi es-pat-nezinu-vairs-cik mēnešu laikā iedzēru tēju ar govs pienu, nevis mandeļu, rīsu vai auzu, un tas patiešām garšoja jocīgi. tā laikam strādā ieradums. man vispār tik daudz labāk patīk tie augu pieni. pie tiem arī paliksim, thank you very much.
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I am humbled [Feb. 4th, 2016|10:16 pm]

juriic
[Sajūtas | awake]
[Skaņas |Wubbaduck ft. SirMark - Nightmare After Christmas]

to be mud of this world.
For earth is its flesh and water - its blood.
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[Feb. 4th, 2016|10:16 pm]
evia
Vasarās es neticu tumsai, bet ziemās - tumsa esmu es.
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entertainment [Feb. 4th, 2016|10:38 am]

saccharomyces
haha, man šķiet, daļai no viņiem acis izauga divreiz lielākas, uzzinot, kam viņi tās prezentācijas taisīs :D
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iedod viņiem peldpūšļus un iemet ūdenī [Feb. 3rd, 2016|11:40 pm]

saccharomyces
es jūtos tik laimīga un aizrāvusies, organizējot saviem skolēniem šo mācīšanās pieredzi. un esmu patīkami pārsteigta, cik ātri un vienkārši bija sameklēt ļaudis, kas vēlas piedalīties! woo-hoo!

vispār, ja nu te ir kāds interesents, es joprojām meklēju 5 cilvēkus, kas gribētu pozitīvi ietekmēt kādu jaunieti un būtu ar mieru

1)pēc pusotras nedēļas (cerams, 15.02) saņemt kāda devītklasnieka veidotu narrated online prezentāciju angļu valodā, kurā tevi kā potenciālu investōru mēģina pārliecināt sponsorēt projektu - risinājumu kādai vides problēmai,
2)novērtēt to, izmantojot gatavus dotus kritērijus un savas personiskās kompetences, un
3)nedēļas laikā (vislabāk līdz 22.02 - bet principā par datumiem varam vienoties) uzfilmēt īsu atbildi angliski no sevis: sponsorētu vai ne un kāpēc.

anybody up to the challenge?

droši, padodiet arī tālāk cilvēkiem, ko jūs pazīstat, bet es - nē, ja zināt, ka šitāda ambrāža varētu interesēt. atlīdzībā varu piedāvāt gandarījuma sajūtu par apziņu, ka esat sagādājuši kādam spurainam vai tramīgam pusaudzim sajūtu, ka viņu uztver nopietni, kā arī manis pašceptus konditōrejas izstrādājumus pēc jūsu izvēles.
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[Feb. 3rd, 2016|09:53 pm]

saccharomyces
[Tags|]

.



so I will die one day,
but if it must be soon
please,
God,
let it be beautiful.
let my black skin explode
all Cosmic
as if I didn’t breathe galaxies
as if I didn’t hold the entire universe between my thighs
as if this beauty was anything but infinite
and poised toward destruction
as if this beauty was anything but beauty.
this body keeps me so Ugly.
and what is this body
if not mourning,
if not already a knot on the noose?
I put on this skin like it’s performance art.
such a slip of a thing.
whichever you would prefer,
whatever you think would look better
on this body today.
my art is only about my body.
all art is only about this body
and however long it has left
to keep breathing.
and what is my breath
if not a countdown?
what are these lips
if not holy?
already a prayer.
something like
Dear God,
may I Ash
I Terrify
I Lazarus
again and again and again


Lady Lazarus Sings the Blues, Kiki Nicole
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[Feb. 3rd, 2016|09:26 pm]

saccharomyces
man samērā bieži ir tā, ka es nesaprotu, vai esmu pārēdusies vai izsalkusi
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Uzzinu pēdējais: zika vīruss [Feb. 2nd, 2016|09:10 pm]

217
Tikko izlasīju, ka zika vīrusam bijis pirmais gadījums ASV, kad tas saķerts ne no moskītiem, bet caur seksu.
Apokalipse tuvojas
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plow through the day [Feb. 2nd, 2016|10:34 am]

saccharomyces
nu - labi, ka vismaz skolēni lakricas želejkonfekti iedod
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the mind without [Feb. 2nd, 2016|12:29 am]

juriic
I suppose they could have been described in more detail - as something more than monks, but at that moment in time I could not think of another single word that suits these warriors. In fact, I don`t even know if I could call them warriors because the word implies war and fighting and introduces constructs of aggression into a mind that is within. Only by having such semantic structures a mentality is affected and bent into a seeming control. These were warriors who did not fight. They were the truth embodied that exists within the juxtaposition of the opposites; in an organic harmony in which truth is caressed by both hands and not pulled by each. Light flew in their wake as they swept into the battlefield with nobody setting up their entrance with a blowing horn or orders from above a horse. Unassuming as earth and heaven they seemed to perform swift and disciplined strikes on any warrior standing in their path - one by one they stood in melee on the field and taking no particular attention to any side of the conflict, left its fighters on their knees or laying on the ground. They did not seem to carry any weapons and fought with their bare hands only, nor did any steel seemed to cut or bludgeon them as they moved through the ranks of men blinded by rage and fear and pain of war. I could not understand their motions, even though I have seen many battles and seen many ways in which a man can achieve great agility in a fight, but this was not a kind of speed that seemed to come from a strenuous force or tension; I can only describe it as a kind of speed that one understands by abandoning the words 'quick' and 'slow'. They moved effortlessly, with grace and confidence which would befit an old servant of a hill-temple who has swept its floors for sixty years and has smiled to everyone he has ever met. It was not them who were the force, they only seemed to bend the violence of the battle around them to their own will; like the invisible force that calms a storm that we never think about. To my left, I saw my general adamant in his resolve that this is just another enemy and nobody sounded the retreat nor did we have any reinforcements left. The battle seemed to have been won by tooth and nail before the monks swept it away. There was an air of stupefied daze, because nobody had experienced such an outcome on a battlefield before. There was no enemy left, yet there were also no men to take home, the fighting was over, but there was no victor. The monks disappeared into the west like wind in the same unheeding manner they had come. It did not smell like after any battle that I had been to before. Usually there was a heavy smell of blood and despair that came from the field, but for a moment I felt like there was a fragrance in the air that comes from your skin when you have been laying in the Sun for the day. I dismissed it as my own shock at first, but it must have provoked me unknowingly. I realized that I was not afraid, that I had not been afraid from the battlefield like I usually am. I can't stand the thick iron smell of blood; it makes me nauseous and the furious fighting is the same in every battlefield of war - men are sent into them to become animals and usually I want nothing to do with them, but I had started galloping my horse towards the battlefield. As I reached its edge I heard all of the usual sounds that come from dying men and I instantly turned back disappointed, but listening, I realized that the crying and sobbing I heard was not filled with the usual horrors of war that my mind assumed. The trumpets in the camps on both sides had started proclaiming sounds of victory as I turned back again and neared some of the closest men on the ground to inspect them. Some were sitting on their knees still, like weird scarecrow puppets with all the fury and in some cases - life gone from them. The armaments of men had been different for different regiments - some had plate, some mail, some unfortunate had also just the leather. I kneeled near a man of our own, in plate, on the ground who was sobbing and I asked him if he was here and if he could explain what happened. He answered nothing and I assumed he was in shock as is customary after a battle. I further tried to determine whether this man had been wounded and found no visible slashes or piercing elements in his flesh or armour, but when I moved away a rag of some garb from his chest I noticed there was a hole about the size of a palm with no fingers in his chestpiece right about where his heart should be. There was no weaponry to my knowledge capable of inflicting such damage on plate armour in melee that would leave the man in it alive also. I felt that scent of skin that has been caressed by the Sun again and now that I think of it, it held in the air above that battlefield like the smell of rain after a thunderstorm. The hole in the armor was almost as if melted through, but with no signs of anything burnt. The man suddenly started speaking and I realized that the sobs I had been hearing all around were different from usual because they had been filled not with fear or pain, but with remorse and humility and what can only be described as love. "Did you see the light?", the man asked me through tears that were flowing in a constant stream down his cheeks onto the battlefield. And it dawned upon me like the Sun dawns upon every living thing on this Earth - I was not made sad or happy at that moment, nor was I thinking of some event or consequence; my mind was not thinking of anything at all and I did not feel any emotion in the associative sense, but I did see. I saw in the sense that I felt it as real as seeing something - I felt the truth that is inbetween happiness and sadness and has nothing to do with either of these things yet still being both of these things at the same time and I could not help myself but to weep. I lifted my head and saw that the man kneeling was also in fact alive and crying and he was not of our men, but he was kneeling over one of our men and he was not just sobbing anymore, he was wailing and shaking without control over his own body, rocking to and fro, repeating to the man on the ground: "I`m sorry!" and hugging him again and again. He had the same kind of a hole on the back of his armour - his heart had been reached from the back. A single monk had stood against every individual man on this battlefield, looked at the man without judgement, accepted his fury and let it slip off through themselves, and with immeasurable force put his hand through any armour only to stop it before it touched the flesh with another palm that is not made of force, but bears the presence of strength that begets no questions. The man on the ground near me asked again if I had seen the light and now with tears in my eyes I knew that I had. I answered with a nod and our eyes met and held strong and there was no madness or delusion or lies or fear in this man`s eyes, I looked about and a bit further away there were men getting up and helping each other get up, no matter which side they were on before, and putting all their weapons in just-formed piles and around the edges of the battlefield I could see that men were simply walking away with the same air of confidence as the fleeting monks, albeit slower, while the trumpets of victory were fading away towards one kingdom or another with the generals still standing there at each side shouting new orders, also fading...
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dienu kopsavilkums [Feb. 2nd, 2016|02:59 am]

saccharomyces
es uzrakstīju savu dienas rutīnu, tas ir, to skeletu, kas galvenokārt nemainīgi raksturīgs visām manām darba dienām, un kur tad klāt vēl iespiežas citi (ne)prognozējamie pienākumi vai plānotie soc.notikumi. uz to skatoties, mani vairs nemaz nepārsteidz, ka es mēdzu justies nelaimīga. tā uzrakstīts, tas izskatās tik nožēlojami, ka man pat pārāk kauns publiskot.

(protams, saprotu arī, ka tas ir subjektīvi un ir pilna pasaule cilvēku, kam ir visādi sliktāk.)
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AASFSAJHDGHRGJ [Feb. 1st, 2016|08:48 pm]

juriic
[Sajūtas | high]

MÍLESTÍBA SPÍD!
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Imigranta dzīve 10: Being an Adult [Feb. 1st, 2016|06:19 pm]

217
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nogulēju no 7 rītā līdz 3 pēcpusdienā, ceru, ka tikšu galā ar pirmo nakti jaunajā darbā šonakt.
naktī atvēru noguldījumu kontu, lai sakrātu studiju kredīta atmaksai naudu un tiktu brīvībā no naudas izsūcējiem.
pēc pamošanās pavadīju stundu uz velotrenažiera un griežot rinķi Metallicas pavadījumā, un paēdu veselīgas brokastis 6os vakarā.
tas viss nereāli izklausās pēc kkādas svešas, atbildīgas, mietpilsoniskas dzīves. vēl tikai trūkst atmest smēķēšanu un ieviest mājdzīvnieku vai hobiju, vai krīpī dārza rūķus.
tas viss piezagās nemanot.
kā es šeit nokļuvu?
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do something camp! doooooo something camp! [Feb. 1st, 2016|01:46 am]

217
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vakar bijām uz Angel komēdiju pēc ilgiem laikiem. ceturtais komiķis bija visnotaļ fantastisks.
Stephen Bailey

https://youtu.be/ukmZXKkNPZI
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never change [Feb. 1st, 2016|12:53 am]

juriic
[Sajūtas | inspired]
[Skaņas |Karma Fields — Tristam x Karma Fields | Build The Cities]

Blade and Soul General - /bnsg/ Anonymous 01/31/16(Sun)20:14:34 No.130452483▶>>130452686 >>130474270 >>130477357 >>130482005
Breast Waifu Edition
Anonymous 01/31/16(Sun)20:16:19 No.130452653▶
File: Screenshot_160131_014.jpg (374 KB, 1920x1080)
374 KB
Third for Gon futas.
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