Cirmuļa atklāsmes - 17. Augusts 2006

ak dievs,
baidos, ka mani drīz piekaus.

nē, par manu personīgo dzīvi un konfjūženu nevienam nevar būt daļas, bet es jau jaucos un aizmirstos arī savā darbā. jaunajā darbā.
fui! es sev saku.
bet vai tad es klausos?
merde, fille, qu'est-ce que tu fais?
je sais pas. sais pas.

f..k this, just get yourself together!!!
i gotta get through this, gotta get through this, gotta take my mind, my mind... back.

(with clenched teeth)... must... get... myself... together... hrrr!

I feel very human, only in the wrong way human.

and all of the things I'm doing - none of them is good enough for me.

and I cannot take myself. I cannot take myself.

and I tell things I don't know.

and I have nothing to say when I should talk.

and I say nothing when I should say just anything.

and - god! - I wish I ... at least knew how to...

I'm not even asking 'why?' anymore. what's the use. I wouldn't know what to do with the answer.

and yes, I don't really like myself. it's like that love&hate type of relationship. I cannot leave myself, but hate myself dearly.

and I always have to generalize things! (bitch...)

just shut up, SHUT - UP !!! that's what I tell myself. but I don't really listen. like I could listen to a person like that. ha.

and there you are. there I am.

f..k, I hate myself.

oh, shut up.