Why talking to Marina is always worth it (even though we srsly disagree on a ton of stuff : ))

Boys Will Be Boys or Feminism At Its Best

I wish I had massive amounts of data from studies both serious and respectable. I wish I could quote living examples of gender equality. And I wish I had the language and wisdom to express my opinion and beliefs on these issues with precision and clarity.
But I don't, I can't, and the opinions I hold are not rigid and change very swiftly.
Still, the need to self-analyse and have myself understand what I feel is so strong, I'm going to try and have a go.

Feminism (from wikipedia) is a collection of movements and ideologies aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.
Wikipedia also states that a feminist is an advocate or supporter of the rights and equality of women.
What I understand by a word 'feminism' is absolute gender equality in any area of our lives and in any capacity. A lot of people are afraid of terms like gender equality and gender-neutral upbringing, they think that in terms of social behaviour boys will be pushed into being girls and girls will be pushed into being boys. The underlining problem here is there is no definition of boys and girls, men or women when we talk western society. The clothes have become unisex, the hair has become unisex, both men and women are encouraged to take care of their skin and have toned muscles and healthy diets. Yet, in our minds we see a boy playing ball games and a girl cutting paper clothes for her paper doll. We are happily surprised to see a boy helping his mom bake bread, but only within the constraints of 'not too much', only if the boy is also physically strong and shows apparent interest in the opposite sex - otherwise the boy is not masculine enough; we are proud when a girl breaks into a scientific area, can spit out programme codes, but only if she's also a hot blond. That's cool.
And hypocrisy at its worst.
There is no such thing as being girly or being boyish. There is a social notion of that, which has been forced upon us for whatever political, economical and whatever other reasons (like everybody has to reproduce for a country to survive).
What feminism and gender equality mean for me personally is raising a kid who breaks the stereotype of being a girl or a boy. It means teaching schoolkids that not only it is cool for boys to knit and for girls to play rugby, but they should also do it to see if they like it. Otherwise how do they know what feels girly and what doesn't. Feminism for me personally means absolute freedom of choice - if you're into make-up and nails, I salute you! If you're into your dad's old sweaters and Nirvana, I salute you! If you're into wrestling and porn, I salute you. Regardless of your physical gender. As long as you don't talk shit about other people being too feminine and too masculine.
I strongly believe that people have the right to label themselves, and it's not wrong to do so if you feel comfortable. I am not embarrassed to say I'm boyish in my everyday life and girly at work (and what I mean by that is my general understanding of how cis men and women normally behave while being aware that these terms are wrong), I'm definitely not uncomfortable saying that I am a feminist, a believer, a book-lover, a water-drinker and a geek. I genuinely love labels. At the same time I won't push somebody into labeling themselves.
And getting back to feminism - feminism is as much about men's rights as it is about women's. It's not about women forbidding men to open the door for them and lift heavy stuff in the house. It's not about making men cook and do the laundry. It's about women who want to do men's stuff and are capable of it. It's about women taking responsibility of the things only men used to be in charge of. And letting men do things only women used to do. It's about having equal opportunities in everything. As long as you want them, of course.