goddamn winter

as I am sitting on the floor with my back against the radiator, a few things are worrying my usually calm mind
first, it is the Spanish
as in the language
as in I am desperately hopeless about and simply learning it
it’s not a terribly difficult language to learn, it’s got an amazing rhythm and is melodic on the whole, I’ve got all the resources in the world except for the google listen+speak+write for me out there
and I still stumble on it, as in both not being able to make myself get down and dirty with it as well as running into it in text somewhere on the bbc news website or in sound on fox crime channel on tv. I stumble and stumble.
another thing that has been occupying my brain cells lately, is the smart phone I’m about to buy. for me, purchasing a cell-phone is almost as important and serious a task as buying a flat. there are so many things I want from a mobile phone these days, I’m not sure there is a phone that can deliver. I need it to be classy since I won’t be replacing it for the next2/3 years, I need it to have the perfect size, which is not too big to slide into the back pocket of my jeans, but big enough to read the books, I need it to have a good camera, not that my nokia’s 2mp camera has been bad, not at all, but I’ve grown tired of carrying my canon-something everywhere to get a decent picture; I need it to be ascetic being slightly opposed to the glamorous feminine patterns and lines, but above all I need it to be open - I want to be able to break it the way people like breaking and tweeking things, I want to listen to illegally downloaded music, watch illegally downloaded movies and do all sorts of other illegal thingies. kind of.
I want it to blend into my hands and become part of my keen-on-reading-listening-watching-wondering brain wavelength.
I do worry about the world a little bit as well. I mean, it’s the end of december and not even a sign of snow and plus 10 outside and the bloody damn storms I’m getting accustomed to. that is kinda unsettling. right.