August 27th, 2007

• 8/27/07 03:01 pm
• Vakar atbraucu atpakaļ uz Rīgu. Iegāju savā lielajā tukšajā dzīvoklī un pēkšņi uznāca šausmīgi asa vientulības sajūta virsū. Nu tāda kā virs galvas planējošs liels melns tukšuma mākonis. Apsēdos gultā un ļāvu asarām sevi žēlot. Izdevu laukā arī tikai sev raksturīgās raudāšanas skaņas, kas spētu nobiedēt ne vienu vien. Mani šī dīvainā smilkstēšana, protams, padara stiprāku. Tā nu es kādu pusstundu meditēju un sevi attīriju. Protams, tādos brīžos jāpazvana ir mammai. Bet, ja mamma zvana, es nevaru neatbildēt - nerakstīts mātes-meitas norunu pamatu pamats. Tad nu sākās smadzeņu skalošana. Ka es vēl jauna (kaut arī sprāgstu nost no vecuma sajūtas), ka man vēl viss priekšā (blā blā blā, es sprāgstu nost no vecuma), beigās pateicu - mamm, es eju gulēt un noliku klausuli. Morāles te nav. Raudāt vajag. Jo paliek vieglāk. Vismaz spēju izlasīt līdz galam pēdējā laika labāko grāmatveidīgo atklājumu FORREST GUMP.
  ....
  Coach Bryant: That kid may be the stupidest son of a bitch I've ever seen, but damn he can run!
  ....
  Forrest Gump: That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So I ran to the end of the road. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I'd just run across Greenbow County. And I figured, since I run this far, maybe I'd just run across the great state of Alabama. And that's what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured, since I'd gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going. When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go... you know... I went.
  ....
  Forrest Gump: [running] I had run for 3 years, 2 months, 14 days, and 16 hours.
  [he stops and turns around]
  Young Man Running: Quiet, quiet! He's gonna say something!
  Forrest Gump: [pause] I'm pretty tired... I think I'll go home now.
  ....
  Jenny Curran: Do you ever dream, Forrest, about who you're gonna be?
  Forrest Gump: Who I'm gonna be?
  Jenny Curran: Yeah.
  Forrest Gump: Aren't-aren't I going to be me?
  ....
  Forrest Gump: It was so beautiful.
  Jenny Curran: I wish I could've been there with you.
  Forrest Gump: You were.
  ....
  Forrest Gump: I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is.
  ....
  Forrest Gump: Mama always said life was like a box a chocolates, never know what you're gonna get.
  
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