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Feb. 17th, 2010|08:03 am |
The most tragic part of J.D. Salinger's passing is that disaffected curmudgeons now no longer have someone at whom they can point and say, Well, at least I'm not *that* much of a dick."
I'm against animal testing. Especially when their scores are better than mine.
I bet the guy who first said, Two heads are better than one" never worked as a fetal ultrasound technician.
The Top Geek Valentine's Day Celebrations
- Commissioning an unemployed newspaper reporter to custom-write each other's Facebook statuses.
- You're the Apple of my eye
The JAVA of my soul
The Sun up in my sky
When you go Yahoo! on my pole.
- Touching each other's laptops without any password protection.
- Make sure the woman in your life has a great night on the town, so you can have your mom's basement to yourself the whole night.
- She bought into the online V-Card, but those eChocolates may not be as cool as you thought.
- A lump of coal along with a certified calculation of the exact pressure required to turn it into a diamond.
- "He hacked Jared!"
The Top Things to Do with a Used Space Shuttle
- Sink it for an artificial reef. Oh wait, that's "scuttle."
- If NASA treats it like I treat my used cars, they will park it out back and stray cats will live in it.
- Put hydraulics and some kickin' woofers in it, cruise past the Smithsonian to show off.
- Remove the tiles and see if you can put them back on in the right place again.
- Put it up on blocks outside the Space Flight Center in Alabama.
- Hang it from the ceiling of the new Air and Space Casino in Las Vegas.
- Smash-up derbies in space.
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