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Oct. 29th, 2005|06:45 pm |
So my online Tolkien Society buddies were one-upping each others' ability to translate the elvish in the "Lord of the Rings" movies real-time, but only *I* could tell it was actually being slightly corrupted by a subtle Klingon accent. Take that, losers!
(Mark Spence)
The Top 10 Signs Your Grandparents Are Still Sexually Active
The last thing you remember before going blind was opening their bedroom door.
Your newborn uncle is 30 years younger than you.
Every Wednesday evening: Seniors bingo.
Every Thursday morning: Another notch on Grandpa's walker.
There goes the headboard upstairs again, banging in tempo with that damn polka music.
You found their pictures at http://www.hotwrinklelove.com.
The ever-present candy dish on the coffee table is now full of Viagra.
After gardening, Grandpa always sneaks a couple squirts of Miracle-Gro down his pants.
You're horrified to catch Grandma winking at Granddad while gumming a banana.
Arriving a little too early for Sunday dinner, you hear, "Oh YEAH! Gum me baby! Gum me good!"
Gramps sprinkles Viagra in his morning coffee. And in his evening Schnapps.
Granddad returns from the pharmacy yelling, "Hurry, Martha! I got stuck in a traffic jam and the ol' Viagra clock's a-tickin!"
Telltale pair of handcuffs still fastened to the walker.
The shaking walls, thumping bed, and screams of, "WHO'S YOUR GRANDDADDY?"
Who even knew they made orthopedic support fishnet stockings?
You notice a pair of Depends hanging from the ceiling fan. |
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