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Jan. 22nd, 2010|08:54 am |
How does that debt counseling service think they're going to convince me they're legit if they won't accept credit cards?
Whenever my teenage daughter comes down the stairs dressed like a tramp for her date, I think to myself, "Damn, why won't her mother wear something like that?"
The Top Names for Terrorist Underwear
- Playtex Cross-Your-Heart-and-Die Bra
- Thunderbra
- Pierre Carbomb
- Dolce & Kablamma
- OshKosh B'Gosh M'Nads R'Gone!
The Top Signs You Should Not Be Jogging Naked
- The sound your thighs make when they rub together puts every neighborhood dog into heat.
- Your pysche might not ever recover from the pointing and laughing.
- Too many girls might collapse in uncontrollable paroxysms of lust at the sight of your nine inch... beer belly overhang.
- You've tripped over your boobs twice. And so has your wife.
- No one can tell you're naked because of the body hair.
The Top Reasons to Skip the Elevator at Work
- By challenging your overweight, out-of-condition, chain-smoking, angina-prone boss to keep up with you, you are that much closer to moving up the corporate ladder.
- Every minute on the stairs adds a minute away from the boss.
- In 1978 the power went out and a secretary was trapped with two engineers discussing Star Wars. She's still in rehab.
- It's so old the floors are indicated with Roman numerals.
- Koumpounophobia: Fear of buttons (It's real! Check it out!)
- You are painfully aware of your coworkers' skills at the elevator factory.
- You're too short to reach any of the buttons.
- The cafeteria theme this week has been "Mexican." Do you really want to chance it?
- Those new Sketchers magic weight loss shoes don't work as well standing still.
- Can't annoy others with loud mindless blather because the cell phone reception is poor.
- Can't Stop the Muzak.
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