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Jan. 22nd, 2010|08:54 am

khehe
How does that debt counseling service think they're going to convince me they're legit if they won't accept credit cards?

Whenever my teenage daughter comes down the stairs dressed like a tramp for her date, I think to myself, "Damn, why won't her mother wear something like that?"


The Top Names for Terrorist Underwear

- Playtex Cross-Your-Heart-and-Die Bra
- Thunderbra
- Pierre Carbomb
- Dolce & Kablamma
- OshKosh B'Gosh M'Nads R'Gone!


The Top Signs You Should Not Be Jogging Naked

- The sound your thighs make when they rub together puts every neighborhood dog into heat.
- Your pysche might not ever recover from the pointing and laughing.
- Too many girls might collapse in uncontrollable paroxysms of lust at the sight of your nine inch... beer belly overhang.
- You've tripped over your boobs twice. And so has your wife.
- No one can tell you're naked because of the body hair.


The Top Reasons to Skip the Elevator at Work

- By challenging your overweight, out-of-condition, chain-smoking, angina-prone boss to keep up with you, you are that much closer to moving up the corporate ladder.
- Every minute on the stairs adds a minute away from the boss.
- In 1978 the power went out and a secretary was trapped with two engineers discussing Star Wars. She's still in rehab.
- It's so old the floors are indicated with Roman numerals.
- Koumpounophobia: Fear of buttons (It's real! Check it out!)
- You are painfully aware of your coworkers' skills at the elevator factory.
- You're too short to reach any of the buttons.
- The cafeteria theme this week has been "Mexican." Do you really want to chance it?
- Those new Sketchers magic weight loss shoes don't work as well standing still.
- Can't annoy others with loud mindless blather because the cell phone reception is poor.
- Can't Stop the Muzak.

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