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Nov. 6th, 2009|08:38 am |
I always used to roll my eyes when my dad went into his "When I was a kid I had to walk to school in the snow -- uphill both ways!" spiel. At least I did until the day he showed me his yearbook from M.C. Escher Junior High.
I like the smell of old, fermenting urine because that's the smell of money -- or at least it's the smell of the cup of change I took from a guy sleeping in the subway tunnel.
The Top Haikus About the H1N1 Virus
Bad stuff, this Swine Flu
According to CNN
We will all die soon
Not feeling too well.
I'll stay in bed and watch that
Tom Hanks movie, "Pig."
A media scare?
Weapons of Mass Destruction
Coming from a pig!
How did I get it?
The swine flu is not kosher
And me, a good Jew?
Roasting from fever.
The only thing missing's an
apple in my mouth.
I caught the swine flu.
Think I'll just stay home in bed,
Pig in a blanket.
The Top Job-Hunting Tips
- Speaking Klingon does not make you multilingual, geekboy.
- During the interview, it's a good idea not to show *too* much interest in the details of the drug testing program.
- Don't show off your research by naming all the employees you consider do-able.
- Leave your interviewer a thank-you card with a small gift enclosed, such as a wallet-sized rectangular portrait of Benjamin Franklin.
- Can't find a job opening? Meet people who have the kind of job you want, then kill one.
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