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Aug. 29th, 2009|02:02 pm |
The worst thing about being your own boss is knowing there will never be enough money to justify filing that frivolous sexual harrassment suit against yourself.
Brad Osberg
My wife really seems to like those bedroom role-playing games. Unfortunately the only one we ever play is "The Ice Queen and the Beggar."
Donald Johnson
The Top Signs Grandpa's Story Just Went Off the Rails
- "...of course back then, nickels were the size of manhole covers and made out of beef jerky!"
- "Back then, I had to drive my Hummer six miles in the snow to get to Hollywood High School."
- "So I told Napoleon, I said, 'Nappy, get yourself some lifts in them boots and your hand outta your junk or you're going to start getting a rep as a short fanatical egomaniac like that Tom Cruise fella.'"
- Once he hit Berlin, he killed Eva Braun with his bare hands and seduced Hitler out of his panties? Sweet Lord, you have to hope he mixed those up!
- He just asked for the prop trunk.
- "And this one time, at ham camp..."
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