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Aug. 27th, 2009|07:41 am |
Change is good. Especially when it's a change back to the way I liked it in the first place.
Marshall Gatten
When life gave me lemons, I went for a round of golf and then to a strip club, as I was never much of a beverage maker and one should do what one knows. I probably pushed it too far, however, as I was thrown out for trying to tuck a couple of them into Sassandra's g-string.
Brad Simanek
If you ever cough up a lung, don't try to suck it back in. I did, and it just ended up in my other lung.
Chris Irby
The Top Differences If Nobody had Invented Clothing
- No excuses about the outfit -- your ass IS fat!
- Trust me, you do NOT want to know where the magician's queen of hearts went.
- "Viagra: prevents erections for up to four hours."
- Granny no longer gets her boobs tangled in her belt.
The Top Movies About the Workplace
- (500 Days) of Meetings
- A Clockwatched Orange
- Brokeback Mountain of Paperwork
- Halloween XXVI: Jason goes to work!
- Harry Potter and the Half Brother Vice President
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Cubicles
- I Know What You Did Last Staff Meeting
- The Apple Pie Chart Gang
- Indiana Jones and the Expense Report of Doom
- American Pie Chart
- Office of the Apes
- The Lion, the Witch, and the Board Room
- Harry Potter and the Chamber of Office Supplies
- Final Destination IV: The Human Resources Office
- Intern-anal Affairs (Sorry, that's a top porn movie about the workplace)
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Interns
- Punch the Clock Slowly
The Top Lines Least Likely to Be Spoken in a Chick Flick
- "Huzzah, Mirthfifdil! Your Sword of Power was victorious over the Wulfbane the Dragon!"
- "It's so hard to get snot out of silk."
- "I'll never forget the day you first walked through that door. What a riot -- blood and glass everywhere!"
- "Sure, I get sad. But that's when I know it's time to down a few cold ones while watching a little wrestling on the big screen at Hooters."
- "We have to get this compact to the Estee Lauder mansion in 24 hours or everyone on the planet will DIE!"
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