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Aug. 18th, 2009|02:07 pm |
Learning to scuba dive was a complete disaster. The water was so cold my skin turned as blue as a pair of Levis, and a 40' Great White shark nearly ate my left leg! My instructor kept me down until I only had three breaths of air left, and then brought me up so fast my veins almost exploded from the bends! They rushed me to the hyperbaric chamber, but because they're the world's biggest morons, they put me in a hyperbole chamber by mistake.
Phil Garding
If life were fair, the amount of calories required to chew food would equal the amount within the food being chewed.
Tom Sims
You know you're a loser when the hot chick you've been hitting on at the bar tells you she's bisexual and that you don't appeal to her *either* way.
Jerry L. Embry
The Top Future Differences in How We Use the Internet
- NOW: IM each other on our iPhones
FUTURE: ESP each other from our iBrains
- NOW: Reading news online
FUTURE: Read wireless updates on your eyelid screen (driving while browsing illegal in 32 states)
- NOW: Playing WoW from parents' basement
FUTURE: Teaming up with your kids in WoW
- NOW: Speculating on health of Steve Jobs
FUTURE: Speculating on health of Steve Jobs' clone
- NOW: twitter.com limits tweets to 160 characters for brevity
FUTURE: twtr.com lmts wrds to 4 chrs for brvt
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