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Aug. 4th, 2009|09:23 am |
Some change their party for the sake of lofty principles. This weekend, I changed my principles for the sake of a loft party.
The Covert Comic
Fool me once -- shame on YOU! Fool me twice -- shame on ME! Fool me thrice -- hey, cut it out! This isn't fun anymore.
Jim Rosenberg
Good fences make good neighbors. Bad fences borrow your lawnmower for going on five weeks now, then wolf-whistle every time your teenage daughter has her friends over to use the pool.
Brad Simanek
A gun is a symbol of human failure -- at least if no one's firing it.
The Covert Comic
The other day, while sitting in a traffic jam, I thought to myself, "Why does this only happen to me?"
Chad Rubey
The Top Signs a US President Isn't an American
- Has this weird habit of eating only as much food as his body needs.
- "The state of our union is capitalist pig nation in need of humbling comeuppance!"
- He's a huge Giants fan -- the Yomiuri Giants.
- Floats the idea of making Kenya our 51st state, retroactive to, oh, let's say August 3, 1961.
- Calls the Joint Chiefs together and asks whether it would be prudent to invade the United States.
- "Bollocks! Does anyone have a fag?"
- The foreign-policy portion of his State of the Union Address includes a plea to help his oil-minister uncle move $35 million US Dollars from underground Nigerian bank accounts.
- Insists that he's as American as mayonnaise on French fries and water splashing up one's ass.
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