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Jun. 3rd, 2009|08:06 am |
Those people who run Graceland wouldn't know a great marketing idea if it bit them in the ass. But I'll have the last laugh when I get rich selling the "Love Me Tender" dildo.
Jim Woodruff
I had my favorite recurring dream again. The one where I'm tumbling down the Escher staircase of hookers.
John "Schmitty" Schmidt
Dark side, schmark side -- beware the *polka-dot* side of the Force.
The Covert Comic
Our anti-drug counselor said we should always have an "excuse" not to do drugs in case our friends try to tempt us. But it turns out that "I need to keep my liver in pristine condition so it can one day be harvested for donation" doesn't really work too well. Especially around stoned people.
Andrea Crain
The Top Differences in a General Motors Owned by the American People
- American Taxpayers Now Proud Owners of Company That Makes Cars American Taxpayers Won't Buy
- Obama Assures Americans Economy Being Centrally Run in Completely Non-Socialist Way
- Discontinued immediately: the Cheney Special Edition GMC Yukon with built-in waterboard.
- Engine, schmengine -- put bigger spinners on that beeyotch!
- In order to avoid needless exercise, the Cadillac Escalade is now equipped with a Cadillac Escalator.
- Backseat acts of congress require an Act of Congress.
The Top Demonic Changes We'd Make to "Angels & Demons"
- Angels in skimpy lingerie being chased by demons in hockey masks.
- Replace all the actors with CGI animations of Christopher Walken from "The Prophecy."
- Subtle demonic stuff. Like a scene where Langdon is nearly run down by a GM car with a "Bush/Cheney" bumper sticker.
- Blatant product placement deal with Underwood Deviled Ham.
- Scene where the tortured souls in hell are forced to read the book.
- Hire J.J. Abrams to direct. Then at least it will be hell to watch.
- Zombie chipmunks singing ABBA karaoke. Yeah, it has nothing to do with the plot, but you must admit it is horrific.
- Illuminati statuary bears disturbingly realistic images of a nude Clint Howard.
- Four Words: Busty Nuns with Chainsaws.
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