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May. 18th, 2009|08:00 am |
What turns me on the most about my wife's body is when her body doesn't spend money.
The Covert Comic
As I gazed upon her from across the room -- her brushed metal sheen peeking from behind the low-cut green label -- I was intrigued by both her short stature and the playful look she sported, standing atop the ping-pong table. Oh, yeah, Heineken mini-keg, you *know* I wanna tap that!
Brad Simanek
The Top Celebrity Tweets We'd Like to See
- Bill Clinton: FYI, ladies: Not wearing pants.
- Miss California: hey, guys, if u happen 2 have the hustler from June 04, please burn it. thx!
- Bo, the White House dog: brb. gotta fertilize the Rose Garden again, lol.
- Woody Allen: @LindsayLohan Really? You have a younger sister?
- Lindsay Lohan: Kewl! I can Tweet drunk! Even if I'm driving myself to the next par
- Barack Obama: Man, my ass hurts... from having it KISSED so damn much around here! WH00T!
- Chuck Norris: Off to get Bin Laden. BRB
The Top Fun Names for a Condom
- Hard-On Hat
- Rubber Dickie (You're the One!)
- Johnson Wrap
- Baby Pool
- Extra-Strength Plastic Garbage Bag (Arkansas only)
- Vulcanized Cock Scabbard
- Snack Wrap Supreme
- Courtney Glove
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