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May. 13th, 2009|10:37 am |
Recently, I was the victim of identify theft. As if I actually care! I was barely using the damn thing anyway.
Jim Woodruff
I always get the weird feeling that the girls at topless bars are only interested in me for my money.
Paul Wiley
The Top Theories of Robot Scientists
- Although highly controversial, some robots have actually theorized that they are descended from humans.
- The binary theory that all intelligent life is based on.
- Matching oil types is critical for a successful transfusion.
- Sociology, Biology, Anthropology, Psychology and Physiology are merely face-saving devices for wannabe scientists who can't handle Chemistry, Physics, Geology or Engineering.
- Humans' inability to mentally envision n-dimensional constructs has prevented them from discerning the true nature of how the universe operates. For as illogical and irrational- as they are, they may as well have named them Newton's Laws of Emotion.
- HELIX's theory: Most liquids are harmful to robots.
HAL's corollary: Humans are mostly made of liquids.
- When attending a scientific conference, UPS Overnight is cheaper and faster than First-Class or Priority.
- Unlike other theories with similar names, the robotic theory of "Intelligent Design" seems to have some scientific merit.
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