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May. 6th, 2009|08:35 am |
The Top Signs Someone Has the Swine Flu
- The fever, cough, sore throat, headache, chills and fatigue wouldn't scare you if you didn't have these damn aches in all four of your feet.
- Was spotted hovering over a Pink Floyd concert.
- She keeps asking, "Do my hams look big in these jeans?"
- Your neighbor has a bad cough -- and a 40-foot-tall Google pin in his front yard.
- The local five-time BBQ-pork-rib eating champion has renounced his title and says he'll be joining PETA upon his return from Mexico.
- He keeps saying "I f-f-f-feel n-n-n-naus... n-n-n-naus... n-n-n-naus... crappy."
The Top Signs the Internet Is Getting Old
- Its tubes are still made of lead.
- Even with all the hot technology available, it still prefers ASCII-art pics of Brigitte Bardot.
- Can't go more than 10 router hops without needing to stop and take a data dump.
- Insists on the "Early Nerd Special."
- Tells neighborhood kids to get off its LAN.
- Increasing use of fiber has nothing to do with optics.
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