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Feb. 2nd, 2009|04:40 pm |
Sometimes, I think I love my dog more than I love my husband. Then again, he slobbers all the time, he's always hungry, and he won't stop humping my leg even if I swat him with a newspaper. The dog doesn't do that stuff.
Rita Sullivan
I have friends who seem to have it all: A wonderful spouse, good kids, college education, nice car, house, spiritual maturity, high morals, etc. Sometimes I find myself thinking, "Why can't *I* have a nice car, too?"
E. Smith
I had a dream last night that I drank the largest Margarita in Texas. When I woke up, there was salt on the toilet lid and rim. Sure, it sounds gross, but at least now I have an explanation for the blue tongue.
P. Salyer
The Top Effects of a Larger Milky Way Galaxy
- Well, if the camera usually adds about 10-20 pounds, doesn't this just mean that the galaxy is now the size originally estimated?
- It means spacecraft will have farther to travel between systems, which will take a lot longer, which means that Voyager showing up in that Star Trek movie will be *so* inaccurate!
- Now they have to add a bunch of new stars to Hollywood Boulevard.
- That extra time it will take our radio and TV signals to reach the aliens means that, by the time they show up to help us, we'll have already destroyed ourselves. Then the terrorists will have won.
- This should increase the galactic tax base and lead to an improved world economy by lowering the galactic property tax.
- Galactic Reserve Chairman raises interest rates in an attempt to combat inflation.
- Astronomers rename "Big Dipper" to "Big Boned Dipper."
- AW MAN! Now I have to start counting stars all over again.
- Milky Way keeps asking Andromeda "Does this spiral arm make my central bulge look big?"
The Top Favorite Movies of Animals
- Pup Fiction
- Some Like It Barfed Up
- Bark Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Bones
- Fetch
- Lord of the Ringworms
- Y Tu Llama Tambien
- Sheep's Gotta Have It
- Butt-Sniffin' in the Rain
- Beach Blanket Dingo
- The Muttrix
- My Best Friend's Bedding
- Revenge of the Herds
- The Postman Always Screams Twice
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