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Dec. 18th, 2008|04:02 pm |
There's no "I" in "team" -- at least not since I got kicked off the team for drinking.
The Covert Comic
Like I told the judge, the sign just said, "Petting Zoo." If they're going to be so damn touchy, they should put up a sign that says, "Petting Except for Here, Here and Here Zoo."
Brad Osberg
There is harmony in the universe everywhere you look. For instance, the sad fact that I can't lick my own back is tempered by the knowledge that I would rarely need to.
John Gephart
What Christmas gift do you get for the person who has everything? A faulty home security system that is easy to break into.
Steve Good
The Top Hip-Hop Holiday Songs
- Deck the Hoz
- Grandma Got Run Over by an Escalade
- Slay Ride
- Frosty Da Blow Man
- Here We Come A-Wizzassaillzzin'
- We Three Pimps
- Police Navidad
- I Saw Daddy Capping Santa's Ass
- Blingle Bells
- I'dlay Maria
- All I Want for Christmas is My Two Gold Teeth
- Angels We Have Heard While High
- Jingle Bell Glock
- We Wish You a Ludacrismas
- Violent Night
- Baby Got Socks
- Whose Kid Is This, Bitch?!?
Later this month, the story of Operation Valkyrie opens in theaters around the world, telling the story of the failed assassination plot against Adolf Hitler by General Claus von Stauffenberg and other heroic members of the Wehrmacht. If only they'd listened to us.
The Top Ways to Kill Your Fuehrer
- Break his "seig heil", Kyle
- Burn down his house, Klaus
- Bust him up with a club, Bub
- Cut off his head, Fred
- Douse him in flames, James
- Poison his stout, Scout
- Push him over a cliff, Biff
- Run him over with cars, Lars
- Shoot down his plane, Zane
- Strafe him from a Messerschmitt, Mister Smith
- Firing squad, Todd
- Blow him to bits, Fritz
- Poison his food, Dude
- Send him to the moon, June
- Cut off his nut, Mutt
- Burn off the 'stache, Dash
- Open a vein, Wayne
- Blow off his glans, Franz
- Make the solution final, Lionel
- Break out the axe, Max
- Whip out the Glock, Jacques
- Lob a grenade, Wade
- Make him finito, Benito
- Send him to Moscow, Roscoe
- Booby-trap Eva's blouse, Klaus
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