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Nov. 20th, 2008|10:39 am |
The Top Signs Your Fashion Consultant Is a Porn Star
- You never realized that Prada made codpieces.
- You like to accessorize with belts, she likes to accessorize with strap-ons.
- The ass-baring pants are just not great for winter wear.
- She convinces every business to use "Speed of Removal" as their primary uniform selection criteria.
- Instead of a changing room, there's a casting couch.
- It's either no underwear, or only underwear.
- The pasties have the same color scheme as your favorite football team, but they clash with your mustache.
- He accessorizes every outfit with a pearl necklace.
- "Oh Yes! Oh Yes! OH GOD YES!!! That is a lovely shade of mauve."
This has been a historic year for women in the U.S. government: One was nearly being the Democratic party's nominee for President, another *was* the GOP's nominee for Vice-President. Close but no cigar for both. On the other hand, in the military, a woman *did* finally make it to the highest rank for the first time last Friday when the Secretary of Defense promoted Ann Dunwoody to 4-star general.
The Top Signs the "Brass Ceiling" Just Shattered
- OUT: Maneuvers. IN: Personeuvers.
- Finally serving some *real* food in the Mess Hall: Quiche!
- New standard issue is the case-hardened, battle-ready, waterproof, P-94 lipstick container.
- Duffel bags by Gucci.
- Every fourth Saturday at the Officers' Club is Chippendales Night.
- Manolo Blahnik now manufactures mil spec boots.
- There's a big consignment of shower curtains on the way.
- The Joint Chiefs have stopped dicking around.
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