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Nov. 15th, 2008|12:28 pm |
In order to send a more positive message, I think rock stars could, instead of smashing their guitars at the end of a concert, reconstruct guitars out of broken parts and play a song on them.
The Covert Comic
When my girlfriend is mad at me, she refers to me as her "half-ass boyfriend." I get my revenge by referring to her as my "ass-and-a-half girlfriend."
Hugh Ringling
How can they call the internet connection dying on me no big deal? What if there's an emergency and I need to e-mail 9-1-1?
Jennifer Taylor
The Top Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly Is Unzipped
- You've got Windows on your laptop.
- Sailor Ned's trying to take a little shore leave.
- Your dork is ajar.
- Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
- I can see your Gap dancers.
- Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson...
- Your pod bay door is open, Hal.
- Elvis Junior has left the building!
- Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
- Ensign Hanes is reporting a hull breach on the lower deck, Sir!
- Captain, sensors detect a wormhole in the forward quadrant!
- Lil' Shaq's at the free show line.
- You've got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary."
- Your closet door is open and Donato's peeking out.
- You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
- I see you have an opening in senior management.
- Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction.
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