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Oct. 17th, 2008|10:12 am |
I think the hardest part about claiming a black hole would be figuring out where to stick the flag.
John Gephart IV
The Top Things Overheard at Last Night's Presidential Debate
Undecided version
- "Gentlemen, please remember to give your answers in the form of a platitude."
- "Man, I so want to change the channel right now. Too bad we actually *attended* this debate."
- "You, Sir, are no George W. Bush. Well, actually, you are, kind of, in a way."
- "Senator McCain, put down that dueling pistol!"
- "Does this untenable position make my ass look fat?"
- "You are BOTH the weakest link. Goodbye."
- "My opponent has more positions than David Duchovny."
- "Look out! It's Al Gore, and he's got a microphone!"
Righty version
- "Bailout strategy? Of course I've got an bailout strategy: I would... hey, how 'bout that Iraq war?"
- "They started this so late because Senator Obama's eloquence frightens Midwestern children."
- "Senator Obama was the one who proposed the two-minute time limits. Then he voted against them, of course."
- "Hey, Michelle, we're both wearing white!"
"Shove it, Cindy!"
- "Camera one, back up! We've got to try to get his entire celebrity-ness in the frame."
Lefty version
- "It's good to see McCain taking notes."
"Um, look closely. He's making a new list of VP choices."
- "I'm sorry, Senator McCain, you're not allowed to buy a vowel."
- "Your VP pick, sir, is not John Kennedy. In fact, she's somewhere between Dan Quayle and Pauly Shore."
- "I'll have to correct you on that, Senator Obama: We *have* captured Osama bin Laden alread-- oh, shoot, that's next week's surprise, isn't it?!?"
- "Cindy, does this tie make me look more presidential?
How 'bout this one?
This one?
This one?
This one?
This one?
This one? ..."
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