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Sep. 26th, 2008|10:00 am |
The cops got the wrong idea when they looked inside my fridge. I put Granny inside all that Tupperware after she died because the patented seal is the only thing strong enough to prevent Satan from claiming her eternal soul.
Andy Ihnatko
Abby was feeling down the other day, so I put my hands up to my mouth, coughed, and made an entire deck of cards appear in my hands. Her smile was huge. The weird thing is, I can't remember ever eating a deck of cards, at least not lately.
Mark Niebuhr
The good news: God blessed me with large breasts.
The bad news: He also invented gravity.
Emily
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