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Sep. 17th, 2008|02:52 pm |
You know, someone should introduce that woman from "Killing Me Softly," who thinks the guy is singing about her, to that guy from "You're So Vain."
Slick Sharkey
If I were a teenage robot out driving with my robot girlfriend on some secluded road, I think I'd give that old "Uh-oh, I'm out of oil!" trick a try. Hey, even if she didn't believe me, she'd have to check my dipstick to know for sure.
Tim H. Richweis
If I had a choice between a robot or one of those helper-monkeys, I'd take the monkey, because if you lose your job and they shut off your power, you can't recharge the robot, but you can always eat the monkey.
Dan Johnson
The Top Signs You've Been a Lawyer Too Long
- No matter how hard you try, you can't get that lawyer smell out of your suits.
- With kids named Sue, Judge and Foreman, you actually consider naming your latest "Prosecutorial Misconduct."
- The only way you can perform sexually is if your partner asks for "permission to treat as hostile."
- When you have that dream where you show up in court wearing just your briefs, they're the legal kind.
- You make your kids pay you a retainer to watch the grandkids.
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