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Sep. 12th, 2008|12:05 pm |
The Top Signs Your Co-Workers Don't Like You
- Razor-wire coils atop neighboring cubicle walls deter office banter.
- Last time you got to use the season tickets was when the Royal Lipizzaner Dancing Horses were in town.
- Company car is a flaming red '88 Escort.
- An exterminator shows up at your desk with orders to "Kill the vermin".
- Dr. Kivorkian's phone number added to your speed dialing.
- Health Care? Two band aids, rusty razor and a bottle of Wild Turkey.
- You keep hearing, "File it where the sun don't shine."
- Your assigned login ID is a violation of the Communications Decency Act.
- Odd yellow froth on your capuccinos.
- Three words: Chernobyl Sales Account.
- Nameplate replaced with one that says "Asswipe."
The Top Signs You Still Have Olympic Fever
- Wore swim goggles and a Speedo to the last business meeting.
- You keep having this freaky nightmare about guys running sideways across your face while Sarah Brightman stands on top of your head singing.
- You berate your child for not sticking the landing as she steps off the bus on her first day of school.
- You've upgraded the hood ornament on your Audi to 5 rings.
- You have an Olympic flame burning in the bathroom, which is actually helpful after Grandpa spends time in there.
- Every time you're the first one in line at the red light, your car stereo plays the national anthem.
- You STILL give a crap about the smog level in Beijing.
- Finishing your corn flakes ahead of the wife and kids, you insist upon standing on the coffee table while the national anthem plays.
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