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Sep. 5th, 2008|12:44 pm |
The Top Things You Can Do When the Movie Is Boring
- Figure out how many times each actress has been in a movie where she's shown her boobies.
- Write superior fanfic version of film on your ticket stub.
- Make a list of all the things you could have bought with the money you paid for tickets, sodas, popcorn, candy, parking and babysitter.
- Change your seat every two minutes and ask others if they've seen the leopard-print underwear you misplaced last week.
- Sue the producer for violation of the Geneva Convention's torture statute.
- Piss off an usher, do a shot.
- Loudly improvise your own filthy dialogue.
- It's 2008, Dude, just pull out your iPhone and watch something better!
- Borrow a stepladder from the utility closet and make really big shadow puppets.
- Build two robot friends out of discarded popcorn tubs and cups, move down to the front row, and begin taunting loudly.
- Voice your displeasure at the poor quality of the movie by standing in your chair and in your loudest voice, yelling: "BOMB!"
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