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Aug. 22nd, 2008|05:22 pm |
One of my co-workers was clearly attracted to me, but we decided we should keep our relationship professional. Now I pay her for sex.
Wiley
The only people I dislike more than the Scots are the Welsh. And if your name happens to be Scott Welsh, well, you'd better just stay out of my way.
Brad Simanek
The Top Indications a Movie Was Made by Stoners
- Those fragmented, jittery flashback scenes? Unintentional.
- No need for smoke machines during night filming.
- Craft service ran $2,000,000 over budget.
- It was directed by "Oliver Stoner."
- That's not a laugh track. That's the crew who forgot to turn off their mikes.
- Even though it's ready to premiere now, the producers insist on an April 20th, 4:20 pm opening.
- There are more fried brains on display than a hundred "Hannibal"s.
- At the preview, the audience yells at the projectionist to keep replaying the concession stand ads instead of the film.
The Top Bad Internet Pickup Lines
- "I CAN HAS DA NASTY WIT U?"
- "Anonymity makes me even more handsome."
- "Your *dot* has me anything but calm."
- "Do you swear under penalty of perjury that you are neither employed in law enforcement nor by NBC?"
- "Why don't you come down to my basement apartment in my mom's house and see me sometime?"
- "I dunno. Do u *want* me 2 b 16?"
- "I'm 13, really cute, and certainly not an undercover agent of any sort."
- "i wud luv 2 get u ROF, even if u don't L."
- "In cyberspace, no one can hear me scream your name."
- "I've fully rebooted from my last relationship."
- "Hey, my wife's going to be at some convention, any chance you could hitch a ride to Chappaqua next week?"
- "If I said you had a beautiful port replicator, would you hold it against your camera?"
- "My name is Misty, and I speak Klingon."
- "I had to drop out of college because the $250,000,000 software company I started in my dorm room was taking up too much of my time. Can I buy you a PC?"
- "Do u like me? Text '1' for 'Yes,' '2' for 'No.'"
- "Hey wait, are you an FBI agent? Because that's even hotter."
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