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Jul. 23rd, 2008|11:55 am |
I wonder how much money the average pirate would save on his dry cleaning if he'd just leave that parrot home once in a while?
Jim Goldman
The Top 9 Benefits of Internet-Enabled Household Appliances
- Blocking software means the can opener won't open any Spam.
- Your air freshener coordinates forest smells with your current World of Warcraft location.
- The refrigerator scans your wine bottle bar codes and warns you about vintages that will prevent you from getting laid.
- With a FlameWar brand toaster, your toast is guaranteed never to be underdone.
- Including the fridge, oven, microwave and dishwasher brings you up to five Facebook friends!
- Never pee in a specimen cup again. Just flush and upload.
- Your Roomba e-mails you when it finds your kid's stash of contraband.
- The freezer won't let you access the ice cream without a valid ticket from the treadmill.
- Why settle for the same daily fuzzy image of Jesus when you can select a custom photo to be burned onto your toast from a massive online porn library?
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