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Jul. 15th, 2008|04:22 pm |
I think if I ever grew a third arm, I'd want it to grow out of my back. Nothing says "satisfaction" like giving someone you love a big bear hug and still being able to pop that itchy pimple on your ass.
Chris Malysiak
If I was truly the product of "Intelligent Design," I'm pretty sure my fingers would be smaller or my nose would be bigger.
Brad Osberg
The Top 9 Benefits of Internet-Enabled Household Appliances
- Search engines never have trouble finding your Metamaytag dishwasher.
- Miraculously the refrigerator keeps dispensing free spam.
- eLaundry Center connects not only to eWasher and eDryer, but to backups eWashboard, eClothesline and eLaundromat.
- Your alarm clock just uploaded movies of your latest conquest to YouTube.
- Washer/dryer combo automatically launders Nigerian currency.
- Now you can blame that burned pizza on hackers.
- The toilet will email you photos proving who left the seat up.
- Solving every family's most vexing problem, encrypted refrigerator virtualization allows everyone to access only their own food.
- Now you can surf for porn while vacuuming, but not the way you're thinking.
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