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Jun. 27th, 2008|12:10 pm |
I used to complain that I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet. Then I complained because he got the good parking spot.
Jim Evarts
The Top 8 Passages in the Book of Moron
- "And Eve did ask, but Adam knew not, because he didn't have none o' that fruit-learnin'."
- "And God made the animals of the earth and the fishes of the sea so that man might stuff them and mount them on the wall, as a symbol of his manliness."
- "And surely if his brain were placed upon the head of a pin, it would roll around like a BB on a six-lane wagon path."
- "And there was Bud Light."
- "And the Lord sayeth unto Adam, 'I shall make Woman, and she shall have great hooters so that you may be smitten with her.'"
- "Then Bart heard the voice of the Lord; and he was pretty sure it was God, because there were a bunch of words he didn't understand."
- "And Jeb went into his tent and begat Arlo. Jeb begat a whole passel of kids, and liveth in a tent as he had loseth his job from drinking and begatting too much."
- "And she found herself in a place flowing with milk and honey, for she kept bumping into the shelves, and knocking the bottles off."
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