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Jun. 26th, 2008|06:31 pm |
If it's so damned all-loving, why doesn't the Light get off its lazy ass and come down the tunnel to see *us*?!?
The Covert Comic
The Top Signs You Need a New Car
- Your mechanic charges you a "pain and suffering" fee.
- The speedometer only goes up to XV.
- The wood paneling on your station wagon peeled off and revealed some downright hideous wallpaper.
- It's awfully hard to get busy in the back of your skateboard.
- The only thing in the dash that still functions is the 8-track tape player, and your Uriah Heep tape is almost worn out.
- When you park, you put a "Vehicle Not Abandoned" sign in the window.
- You got your fourth speeding ticket this week as a result of inaccurate conversions from the speedometer's furlongs-per-fortnight readings.
- Yours suffered some bullet-hole damage when you tried to run over Dubya during his "Victory Over the WMDs" parade in downtwon Baghdad.
- Your genuine stegosaurus-hide upholstery is beginning to crack.
- Your factory-installed GPS keeps warning you that you're about to fall off the edge of the Earth.
- An Amish man shouts, "Perchance the time is nigh to upgrade thy wagon," as he passes you in his buggy.
- Tires by Firestone; brakes by Flintstone.
- The "Verily, checque thine engine soone!" torch keeps igniting.
- Your exhaust trail has caused so much environmental damage, Al Gore turned in his Nobel Peace Prize and headed straight for a gun shop.
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