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Jun. 21st, 2008|03:42 pm |
My wife suggested I buy a reflector vest for when I go out walking in the pre-dawn hours. Hell, that's *got* to be better than spray-painting the dog fluorescent pink each morning.
Brad Simanek
Former White House press secretary Scott McClellan has written a book, "What Happened," about his time in the Bush Administration. Not surprisingly, he takes Bush to task over the Iraq war, among other things.
The Top Surprises in Scott McClellan's Book
- The Pentagon has known Bin Laden's whereabouts for years; they're just waiting for him to go somewhere the president can pronounce.
- In the last chapter, it turns out the whole thing was just a Dick Cheney dream, as George opens the shower curtain to find President Gore cleaning up.
- At least once a month Bush tries to veto bills that don't include a "Beer nuts are a vegetable" provisions.
- Condi likes to be called "Your Supreme Cocoa Yumminess."
- Dick Cheney's infamous closed-door energy policy meeting included Mobile-Exxon, Halliburton, Cruella de Vil and Satan.
- Once caught a glimpse of a White House secret room in which Cheney's head was being hydraulically lowered onto his body.
- Every Thanksgiving the pardoned turkey is promptly taken to the Oval Office and shot by Cheney.
- Cheney has a tricked out golf cart that runs on the blood of middle-class Americans.
- During Cabinet meetings, Secretary Rice preferred the warm, leathery comfort of Donald Rumsfeld's lap.
- Secret Service constantly confused by twins Jenna and Barbara because of their ambiguous nicknames, "Drinky" and "Slutty."
- Laura Bush is secretly serviced by the Secret Service.
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