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Jun. 10th, 2008|01:33 pm |
I was just hired at the CDC as their new STD Name Consultant, which means whenever a new STD is discovered, I get to name it. And now it's payback time to all of you girls who wouldn't date me in high school.
BigDogDano
Don't hate me because I'm agoraphobic. Hate me because I haven't filled my gas tank since February.
Jenn McNanna
People label me as a narcissist because I go to the gym and tanning salon every day, but mark my words: They'll be jealous when we're all stranded on an isolated mountaintop and leathery-and-tough-meated Brad is viewed as the last one anyone would pick for eating.
Brad Simanek
The Top Signs Your Internet Connection Is Too Fast
- Google gives you results before you even start typing.
- Turner Movie Classics keeps asking to borrow your downloads.
- You just finished downloading Internet porn. All of it.
- Every video on YouTube video appears to have been done by the Chipmunks.
- The bill from your ISP includes a charge for "Flux Capacitor Usage".
- Porn finishes streaming before you do.
- Your firewire actually catches fire.
The Top Places Evicted Black Holes Go
- They move back to their parent's place.
- They crash at a buddy's place, but it never works out because the black hole drives their buddy's girlfriend crazy by sucking up everything in the cupboards.
- YBHCA.
- Wherever. They. Want.
- They hold cardboard signs at the Interstate offramp, "Will collapse your galaxy for food!"
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