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May. 20th, 2008|09:42 am |
This time of year, the frost on the ground and the chill in the air fill me with energy and goodwill. They also fill me with thankfulness that I don't have any nipple jewelry.
Bob Van Voris
The Top Things Overheard at Jenna Bush's Wedding
- "To honor the sacrifice of all you who traveled here, I am giving up sobriety."
- "Did you hear him say, 'One down, one to go"? "Yeah, but he was talking about Iraq and Iran."
- "Henry, if you treat my daughter right, I just may make you president of Iran once we take out the clown that's in there now."
- "Hey, Henry, remind me to give you the Secret Service code word to get into Jenna's bedroom after the ceremony."
- "I don't think of it as losing a daughter; I think of this as gaining a swing state."
- "I'm so thrilled that my daughter has found the right man to marriculate with."
- "I hope they have an exit strategy for this never-ending Chicken Dance."
- "Oh, that's so sweet. Uncle Cheney gave them a whole barrel of crude."
- "These society weddings -- did they really need an organ grinder and a monkey? Oh wait, that's just Cheney and the father of the bride."
- "Why does the reception videographer's camera say 'Girls Gone Wild' on the side?"
- "As a matter of fact, the ice sculpture *does* look like Hillary."
- "Okay, you release the doves while I distract Cheney."
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