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Apr. 28th, 2008|12:38 pm |
I knew it was time to get outside a bit when the number of birthday greetings I received from websites I belong to far outnumbered those I received from real people in my life.
Tim Tribble
I saw a quote that said: "Don't say you don't have time. You have as much time as Albert Einstein or Thomas Edison did." Yeah, but they were smarter than I am.
David Shaffer
Airlines are dropping like flies, with several going out of business in the last couple of weeks and more than a few hanging on by a thread...
The Top Signs an Airline Is About to Fold
- Your plane has a "For Sale By Owner" sign taped in the cockpit window.
- The upholstered seats have been replaced by rows of folding chairs bungeed together.
- "Ladies and gentlemen, our next -- and final -- stop will be Joe's Jumbo Jet Junk and Salvage, Mojave, California."
- Frequent flyer miles can be redeemed for prizes at Chuck E. Cheese.
- The new company logo: a tiny airplane circling a toilet bowl.
- Your Philly-to-Denver flight detours to Mexico because gas is cheaper there.
- Your baggage claim ticket consists of a Post-It, an eBay auction number, and a heartfelt "good luck bidding!"
- Mid-flight, your jet does 20 terrifying minutes of aerobatics so the pilot can make the contrails spell "WILL FLY FOR FOOD."
- In-flight meals are for rental only.
- "This is your captain speaking. We are on final approach to JFK. If a pile of Jacksons don't find their way into the hat your attendants will be passing around, I swear I will drill this baby right into the tarmac."
- Your meal from New York to London? Ramen noodles. The meal in first class? *Lobster* Ramen noodles.
- Carry-ons are prohibited so the overhead compartments can be sold as "upper berth timeshares."
- "Your headphones, sir. That will be $49,000, please."
- The in-flight snack now consists of sucking the chocolate off a Goober for 15 seconds before passing it to the person sitting behind you.
- "This is your captain speaking. In just a moment, those of you on the left side of the plane will be able to see me avoid the shame of unemployment by leaping to my death."
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