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Apr. 25th, 2008|01:15 pm |
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg.
Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self service.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
The other day I came home and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, "Why?" He said, "Because you came home early."
My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer.
I know I'm not sexy. When I put my underwear on I can hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys giggling.
Rodney Dangerfield
On a Woman's T-Shirt: Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.
Q: How many men does it take to screw a light bulb into a socket?
A: One -- because men will screw anything. |
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