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Apr. 12th, 2008|12:31 pm |
The Top Ways Sex Is Better Than Baseball
- Hitting into a double play is actually a reason to brag.
- No umpires to tell you're doing it wrong.
- Performance enhancer of choice, alcohol, is much cheaper than steroids.
- Sex is even better in a heavy downpour.
- Thinking about baseball during sex only improves your performance, but not vice versa.
- Twice as many balls in play.
- You can participate in sex while watching baseball on TV. Not so easy the other way around.
- With sex, you can take batting practice all by yourself.
- No statistics to remember. Just write down your partner's name and check it the next morning.
- When you get to third base in baseball, you're usually dependent on another guy to help you score.
- When something goes between your legs in sex, it's rarely an error.
- Foul balls? Just wash 'em!
- No one takes a whack at your balls with a piece of lumber. Unless, of course, that's your thing.
- Less chance of getting a concussion if you get hit on the head by a stray ball.
- To paraphrase Tom Hanks, "There's no cumming in baseball!"
- Jessica Alba in a silk teddy vs. Don Zimmer in pinstriped tights. You tell me, college boy.
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