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Apr. 10th, 2008|11:06 am |
The Top Differences If Men Got Pregnant
- Nursing bras now available in camo.
- One less Arnold comedy in the world.
- Based on how they deal with beer bellies, *guys* wouldn't be deterred from strutting down the beach in a Speedo at 8 1/2 months.
- Mellower kids, due to the fetal-calming vibrations from lawnmowers and power tools.
- Not sure how carrying the baby would be different, but how the hell is the kid coming out?
- Surely they'd figure out a way to carry it on the outside using duct tape and bungee cords.
- After the first man had a bout of morning sickness, all fetuses would be removed via C-section and put into incubation tanks until fully developed.
- Pampers is now the biggest NASCAR sponsor.
- "Now John, you're going to have to stop drinking and eating junk food for 9 months." "Well then it's time for an abortion."
The Top Signs Your Patients Got Contaminated Meds
- His condition was just upgraded from dead to undead.
- Flu shots suddenly cause massive muscle growth and homerun-hitting ability.
- His "insulin" smells astonishingly like a fresh Krispy Kreme.
- According to the blood test, he's 12 weeks pregnant.
- You used to think "sh*tting bricks" was just an expression.
- The bottle says it's Tylenol, but it sure smells like a Corona.
- You're pretty sure the saline solution isn't supposed to have a rainbow slick on top of it.
- When the vial labels are translated, they read "Chinese Toy Paint Added To Delight Coloring."
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