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Apr. 6th, 2008|04:37 pm |
The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Woody Allen
This President is going to lead us out of this recovery.
Dan Quayle
Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worth while.
Ambrose Bierce
If fire fighters fight fires and crime fighters fight crime, what do freedom fighters fight?
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.
A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!" |
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