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Apr. 5th, 2008|10:22 am |
A 35-year-old Kansas woman sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years -- so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the boyfriend finally called police. Doctors said the woman's skin had grown around the seat. Those wacky Kansans! But the question remains: WHY?!?
The Top 15 Reasons to Spend Two Years on a Toilet
- When you have a wife, five daughters, and one bathroom, a man has to pick somewhere to make a stand -- or a sit, in this case.
- Because two years in the *bathtub* would get uncomfortable.
- You're a congressman; it takes you two years to pass ANYthing.
- "Should I shit or get off the pot? Should I shit or get off the pot? Should I shit or get off the pot?..."
- It makes you feel like you're crapping on China for its treatment of Tibet.
- Because if Americans can't sit on a toilet for two years, then the terrorists have already won.
- The 2006 Kansas Fondue Festival.
- When they say "Super Extreme Sudoku," they mean it!
- You're busy coming up with new script ideas for "According to Jim."
- With a laptop and WiFi, there's no real reason to leave!
- Alternative methane production takes time.
- You forgot to pack bottled water on your 2006 trip to Mexico.
- You're a VERY slow reader.
- Determined to wait until that bonehead is out of the White House.
- On the way in you passed your boss, who said, "When you're done, stop by my office. I've got a new project to discuss with you."
- Oh, c'mon! In Kansas, spending two years on the toilet is the equivalent of attending Woodstock, man!
April Fools Day is celebrated in many countries on April 1. The day is marked by playing practical jokes on, well, everyone.
The Top Pranks Played by Management
- Give everybody the day off, start calling at 6:00 a.m. to see where they are.
- Place a conspicuously large stack of cardboard boxes in the lobby.
- Place a list of available housing in India on every desk.
- Reset everyone's browser home page to www.hotjobs.com.
- Replace all black ink cartridges with blood, THEIR blood.
- Upgrading your PC to Windows Vista.
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