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Feb. 21st, 2008|10:01 am |
The Top Military Gripes About the Weather
- "My foxhole don't drain so well in the rain, Sarge."
- "Who cares if the sea's a little rough? Those flyboys keep bouncing off the carrier deck like they've never done this before!"
- From sailors at sea: "Ever been in a lightning storm on the only metal object in 1,500 square miles?"
- "We *always* have a White Christmas here at Minot AFB. And a White Thanksgiving. And a White Easter. And a White 4th of July...."
- "The Brass draw too much lightning."
- From a sniper: "Damn 40 mph winds made me miss his jugular by almost 2mm! Bad guy almost lived."
- From the Coast Guard: "Global warming keeps expanding our patrol areas."
- "We've got enough bullets, bombs and missiles to take out the enemy, but would you believe we forgot our sunblock?"
- "Forget about air recon, how about a little air-con?"
- "I don't mind going into a sh*tstorm, but what's with the freakin' sand?"
- "Inspection on a nice day? The General will probably show up."
- "Iraqi thermometers only go up to 120 degrees."
- "This time of year civilians can at least tie a sweater around their waists."
The Top Categories in the Healthcare Emmies
- Best Diagnosis Based on a "House" Episode
- Technical Excellence in Sound Editing (for selectively hearing call buttons)
- Outstanding "Fake Concern" by a Surgeon
- Best Dramatic Performance by a Drug-Seeking ER Patient
- Outstanding Individual Performance by a Resident Faking Answers to an Attending
- Best Anastheti... Anaestetic... Anaestheticy... Painkiller
- Most Billings by a Doctor in a Non-Appearing Roles
- Outstanding Comic Use of a Bedpan
- Best Portrayal of God by a Surgeon
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